Not Your Typical Christmas Letter

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Posted by: lordjabez Original: 12/23/2008 12:56 PM Views: 196 Comments: 11 eProps: 6 Read Comments Post a Comment Back to Your Xanga Site

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2 eProps from: tbonecats joyfullynoisy adamslady

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Not Your Typical Christmas Letter

It's been awhile since I've written, and I fear a novel is at my fingertips today. You've been warned.

I think 2008 will go down as a fitting end to the roaring 20's of my life. Perhaps it's just a symptom of growing older that every year seems harder than the previous, but this year I really believe it to be true. Am I the only one that gets a little annoyed (jealous is a truer word I suppose) of the families that send out those cute little Christmas cards with professional-looking "family newsletters" with little updates and photos of smiling children and happy marital bliss? I don't have the time to desire to publish such a thing, honestly, and besides, I have so few photos of the four members of my family together. Either I'm the one behind the camera or we're simply too busy living life to stop and capture it in ones and zeros (ironic that we bought a new digital camera this year I suppose). And even if I did have the time and the photos to put in such a letter, if I were to write it honestly it might be a bit depressing.

Is there any better word to describe this year than "busy"? Everyone loves to attach that cliche to their lives, and inside I chuckle a bit to see those who have no idea claim it for themselves. I'd be an idiot to say my life is "harder" than most, it certainly isn't, but I'll defend the title of "busiest" against all comers. It would be foolishness to try to list all that my wife and I have done this year. Those that know us well know most of it anyways. Speaking of which, I think we're often viewed by our peers as something of an enigma; we're often asked how we survive the unrelenting onslaught of our lives.

That's an excellent question. Some days I wonder if we're really surviving at all. But "survival" isn't the goal, at least if I understand my Bible correctly. Is not survival nothing more than the idol of "comfort" reduced to its core? My wife and I are driven people, and we often push ourselves beyond the threshold of what is physically healthy, beyond what is financially responsible, beyond what is relationally secure. But is that not the heart of Christianity, to die to self? To place all on the altar? To "give and hold nothing back", as the Smalltown Poet might say? Paul beat his body into submission for the sake of the gospel. Should I give any less?

Perhaps I'm wrong. Believe me, it's something I think about often. Do I let my kids watch too much TV because I have to fold the laundry and clean the house because Sara had to go out after I got home from work to buy lunch for 20 for the next day's IWT meeting which she couldn't do during the day because she spent three hours on the phone organizing a prayer chain for a MOPS friend of hers whose baby is sick, racking up a cell phone bill that is way more than what the average family should have to pay, which means we can't pay the credit card off in full this month unless we reduce our giving to the church for the week, but isn't that something we've committed to in the first place, and what's a small finance charge compared to being unfaithful to our church family, and I could go on and on, and pretty soon we're sick, broke, and getting in fights way too easily. Could God possibly bless all of that insanity?

I certainly hope so. Because I'm failing as a husband if I can't give my wife the time and money she needs to minister in the way she's gifted, I'm failing as a father if I can't teach my children that life is not all about them and sometimes we have to give up what we want to serve our maker, and I'm failing my church if I leave any part of my life unsacrificed for its cause.

I'm very tempted to go on a rant about how people like to claim they're "sold out for Jesus" but somehow they can't give their local church body, the very instrument God designed for us to use as our primary ministry outlet, it's proper due. I've heard people complain about a church ministry that demands more than an hour or two of their time every week, and I'm thinking, hmm, what does that say about your priorities? You shouldn't build church around your life, you should build your life around church. Maybe that means you don't take that promotion because it would mean you'd have to give up teaching Sunday School. Maybe it means you don't go back for your Ph.D. because you'd no longer have time to listen to neighborhood kids say their Bible verses. Maybe it means you pass on an evening out with your friends because it would mean losing sleep, which would mean getting to church late the next morning and not being able to meet God or his people due to your exhaustion. Maybe it means you don't spend your lunch breaks ranting on some stupid blog and instead spend that time in prayer.

It would be fitting for me wrap this all up with a lyric from the pen of Andrew Peterson, whose music I "discovered" this year and will forever be changed for the better. I'd say this sums up year quite nicely:

I am tangled up in contradiction
I am strangled by my own two hands
I am hunted by the hounds of addiction
Hosanna

I have lied to everyone who trusts me
I have tried to fall when I could stand
I have only loved the ones who love me
Hosanna

Hail the long awaited king
Come to set his people free
Hosanna
Come and tear this temple down
Raise it up on holy ground
Hosanna
I will lift my voice and sing
You have come and washed me clean
Hosanna

Posted 12/23/2008 12:56 PM - 196 Views - 6 eProps - 11 comments

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11 Comments

You make valid points, however, there is a flip side to your ideas. Most people are too busy doing, and not focused on "being" the person God created them to be. It's one thing to be busy going about the work God gave you to do, but even He rested, and there is a time where all of us need to rest, to be still, to step away from the busy-ness that so easily consumes. I think ministry itself can become an idol if it makes you sacrifice the things God has said are important - time with Him, time with and providing for one's family, the people God has placed in your life as a means of bringing them to Him. That said, what if the promotion allows for you to reach into more people's lives at your work in a meaningful way, such as a promotion to a managerial position? What if the Ph.D is the dream God has given you as part of what His plans are? What if the night out with friends is to build into non-Christians to be able to have the relationship necessary with them to share the Gospel? I'm not saying there aren't some in the church who will too easily give up their ministry for the "comfort" of those things without feeling God's leading, but not everyone who steps away from ministry to do such things is making a wrong choice. Personally, I moved away from a church I loved a ministry in which I had invested myself fully, in order to go to grad school. I have made the decision to not become overly committed in a church while in law school because to do so would split my energy to the point of not doing either well, and that's not why I'm here. God has shown me, through many years and difficult times, that this is the path He has me on. Ministry will come, in time, and in ways beyond I was able to serve before, once this schooling phase has finished. For me, staying in Ohio just for ministry and an unfulfilling job would have been less God-honoring than what I'm doing now, despite my limited time to devote to ministry. Not everything is black and white, and for most people ministry is between them and God and their family. Christians need to serve, that I agree with, but each person has limits on what that individual can do, and a different path God has laid out for them. I understand the side you are coming from - where 5% of the members do 95% of the work in a church - for the past two years I did that, fighting through burnout despite loving the people I served with and my ministry. But you need to do what God has called you to do, and trust Him to work on people's hearts to fill the needs you and others who serve with you cannot meet.

Posted 12/23/2008 3:01 PM by tbonecats - reply

Heard, felt, and understood.

I fancy myself a busy person... and it is true. But I'm only responsible for myself and my cat, so I can only venture a guess at all you must deal with regularly.

My prayers are with you and your family.

Posted 12/30/2008 2:40 PM by joyfullynoisy - reply

doing lots of service is not synonymous with love for or obedience to Christ. God does not depend on any person to usher in his kingdom. scripture says obedience is better than sacrifice. there is always a temptation, when we feel we must do more, when we never say no, when we are always pressuring others to let us do the work or at least do something "for" them (whether or not it's something they've said they need), to be a self martyr. we are called to be righteous. the fruit of the Spirit is not accomplishments, but simply love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self control. it is having a right heart that results in the fruit of the Spirit. blessed are the poor in spirit, the meek, those who mourn, who seek justice, who work to make true peace, etc. therein lies the true blessings of God.

Posted 1/15/2009 8:50 AM by adamslady - reply

@adamslady - When I read "obedience is better than sacrifice" I interpret it thusly: "service is better than ritual". Your thoughts are proving my point; the fruits of the spirit cannot exist in a vacuum.

"there is always a temptation, when we feel we must do more, when we never say no, when we are always pressuring others to let us do the work or at least do something "for" them (whether or not it's something they've said they need), to be a self martyr." - That is a most excellent observation.

Posted 1/15/2009 8:57 AM by lordjabez - reply

lj, i do agree with so much of what you've said. but, as we do works, we must take great care in not falling into a works-are-the-call mindset. and i guess i interpret "obed is better than sacrif" different than you, in which you interchange the terms obedience and service; i take it to mean that loving from the heart is better than doing an act of love without actually loving. (not well articulated, i know) i'd have to give specific examples and additional scripture to better explain what i mean, but i'm typing one-handed now and will come back to this later. :)

Posted 1/15/2009 9:27 AM by adamslady - reply

@adamslady - "loving from the heart is better than doing an act of love without actually loving" - Absolutely. An act of service can be done without love. But love cannot be done without (need appropriate) acts of service (cf. James 2:16).

Posted 1/15/2009 9:30 AM by lordjabez - reply

oh - and i guess one additional point i would make is that we might be defining true "service" differently. i hate when i hear "only [small] % of the people in the church do [majority] % of the work." who are we to decide that one person is doing "more," thus, is actually doing anything of value, than another? and there is much unseen that goes on, and just because we can't see it, doesn't mean it is less valuable that our own busyness. it is too easy here, amidst this whole, "i am truly sacrificing myself to God, because i love Him!" cry to have an air of arrogance. the truth is, the person who gives only a penny and an hour with a right heart (or just offers a listening ear to another person with a genuine spirit of respect and love and mercy), has, in fact, far outgiven the person who gives thousands of $ and hours of "service" at the church without making it a priority to keep the heart humble and compassionate. one is true service, one is not.

Posted 1/15/2009 9:38 AM by adamslady - reply

"love cannot be done without (need appropriate) acts of service" - yes, and this is true, but the point is that ALL people's acts of service are of equal value, whether it APPEARS this way to us or not. the very moment we begin believing that others are not stepping up (like we are), we have fallen into arrogance, the very thing that destroys our works, making them NOT acts of service.

Posted 1/15/2009 9:40 AM by adamslady - reply

@adamslady - Indeed we need to be careful in our definitions. I think I understand what you mean when you say all "true" acts of service are of equal value. Remember the point of the story of the widow's mite. What made her gift valuable was not its intrinsic worth but its worth relative to what she kept for herself. Before God if someone only has a penny to give and a minute to serve, than so be it. But if that same person has more to give than that, and holds back because, after all, aren't all gifts of equal value, regardless of size, than that is no longer "true service", just like service done without love is not "true service".

In the majority of cases, if a person can't find 10% of their time to give to some kind of service (or to give so a friend/spouse/etc can serve), I think they need a priority adjustment. There's a lot more time in the week than we realize.

Posted 1/15/2009 9:50 AM by lordjabez - reply

@adamslady - As a somewhat related aside, did you know that Sara's parents gave more to charity last year than Joe Biden (our incoming VP). And they're missionaries, for crying out loud. I certainly wouldn't judge Mr. Biden and say that he didn't give out of love, but given his resources, I will judge him and say he didn't give enough.

Posted 1/15/2009 9:54 AM by lordjabez - reply

i disagree. i believe what made the widow's mite valuable was not relative to what she kept for herself, but was based on her spirit of giving, her heart. for you to declare it is "10%" that makes a person's service true/valuable, i think, is off base and misses the point God makes to us about what true service is that pleases Him. you've lessoned true service to a calculated amount, which has many problems: it has nothing to do with the heart, it isn't even something you can calculate for others (how would you know what percentage of anything others are giving?), and it is not necessarily true that if you are giving your 10% or more that you are being obedient/pleasing to God.

you compare joe b to your inlaws with a simple calculation that is based on amounts you don't even completely know. if your inlaws were hoping others would see them as godly, or if they wrote their check/s with a "there, i've done my giving," attitude, then their gift, no matter what calculation you make about it or percent of their means it is, is worthless to God. and, for goodness sake, joe b is not someone we even know!

anyhow, all this i say is based on my current understanding of scripture, and, of course, i try to continually seek truth, so before it's all said and done, i might change my stance. i'm going to look up that passage of scripture about the widow's mite right now (well - after i change a poopy diaper).

Posted 1/15/2009 10:09 AM by adamslady - reply

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